My son told me last night that he was upset with his dad. His dad refused to talk with him when a friend of my son's called to tell him that our son was in jail. He didn't even want to know what the son had done. He just said that maybe it would help him to grow up. It's too bad that our court system couldn't feel that way about the father 20 years ago when I filed for divorce because he was so abusive to me and molesting the children. Prehaps he would have learned a lesson. The kids really did. It pays to lie because a lie is so much more tantalizing than the truth. And fathers have more rights than God. Maybe that's why their father thinks he hears God's voice now, and that everything he does is okay. It would have been so beneficial if he had been sent to jail; the kids wouldn't have come home from unsupervised visits with their father with stripes on their backs from where he had beaten them, or their rectum hanging from their bottoms. They wouldn't have all been suicidal at different points during their lives, or become mixed up in things that they shouldn't do.
I am always thankful that they are all alive. The scars on the inside and out side remain, but they are alive.
I've heard that I should forget the past, but that is rather a difficult matter as the person I was before I met my exhusband disappeared years ago and what remains is the person I've become because of this contact. I've also been told that "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!" but I don't believe that either as the stresses of the past have paid a toll on my body with diseases that I don't think would have caught up with me if life had gone another course.
Well, we deal with what we've been given, but I think sometimes you have to do something, or the behaviors of the past will continue.Maybe somebody hearing my voice will realize that judges need to do more to protect children.I hope they feel safe in their beds.
