Tuesday, September 27, 2011

just married

It was so difficult writing about my little dog the other day.  I cried as I wrote and couldn't write the words that I wanted. I can't understand why someone would do something like that to a harmless - and lovable - little animal.  At least, that time, it ended positively. Others were not so good.
I remember when we lived in the South.  We had three kids then - under 3 when we moved there.  Occasionally, the constant momminess would become too much, so I would leave the kids with their dad. They would see me putting on my going out clothes, and they would cry. I'd feel so bad, but I needed to get away sometimes. I only wish I'd know just how bad of a dad that he was. 
I've been dreaming so much of Germany lately.  I go there on trips, or I go there by myself. I visit places that I loved and wish I could go there again. I loved the place even though it was the scene of so much  badness.
I worked at a military post where I taught simple German courses to incoming American troops.  I loved the job.  I showed the men around the city at the end of the course, and they got to practice all the phrases and things that they had learned during their 2-week course.  Not only was I able to earn money, I was able to meet a lot of new people, something that I loved doing, too.
My husband and I met at one of these courses.  I wasn't his teacher, but I needed help with a situation in my classroom and was sent to his for help.  I thought he was so handsome - tall with dark hair and eyes. He helped, and then he started coming by where I lived asking me out.  I finally said "yes" as I had just survived a horrible year with a stalker and wasn't really looking for a boyfriend.
He soon wormed his way into my life, and it wasn't long before he asked me to marry him.  I agreed, and we were married in Europe.
It wasn't long before I wasn't being assigned any classes. I later discovered, much later, that he had gone to the administrator and asked that I not be assigned to teach any more.  I sometimes visited him at work, but he asked me not to visit him because the men looked at me. I thought this was rather weird; I'ld never had any trouble before with the men in the past, but it wasn't that much to do if it made my husband feel better.  I thought that he probably knew more that I did about that.
I missed my job. My one bit of independence. But the men couldn't stare at me.

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