Addictions

My son is addicted to drugs.  They have taken over every aspect of his life and ruled it for half his life. It began when he was aroud the middle school age. His father was (and remains) very abusive.  We divorced, but the courts here believed the lies (another topic) more than the truth presented under their noses.  The court orders sent my children repeatedly to visit their father, and gave him access to visits here. Along the way, my son became terrified, but instead of turning to his family or the church, he turned to drinking and drugs and developed a drug family. Now 14 years later, he is still doing drugs to shut out the memories, and it appears that he may now be going to prison after being arrested with drugs in his car.
It's not surprising that he turned to drugs. Many people turn to drugs and alcohol in order to escape the pain of childhood memories. His father was lucky; instead of drugs, he was given a hobby which he pursued and pursues to the exclusion of all else. There are no relationships: he never learned to build one. For all of his adult life, he has lived with his addiction to guns. Luckily, this is a more socially accepted form of addiciton as he reached a competitive level. It didn't matter that his addiction destroyed everything around him: when you are the sun, all the planets should revolve around you. It's just the pain and the painful memories that were created and destroyed the lives of those close to him: and continues to destroy.
The words and actions he used taught our son that he was worthless. Whenever the son turned to the father, he was always rejected. The son can never live up to the father's standards. The standards are ever changing.